Dear Juror #34

Here are invasions of privacy that we require you to report upon that violate your civil liberties and rights, specifically your right to privacy:

How many people are in your household?
What are their ages?
What are their relationships to each other?
What are their occupations?
What is your marital status?
What is your level of education?
What is your employment?
How long have you been so employed?
What did you do before that?
Have you ever been charged or convicted of a misdemeanor? Explain.
Have you ever been charged or convicted of a felony? Explain.
Has anyone in your immediate family been convicted or served time? Explain.
If so, how did you view your/their treatment by the judicial system?
Financially, what is your annual household income?
What hobbies do you enjoy in your free time?
What magazines do you subscribe to?
What newspapers do you subscribe to?
How much television do you watch?
What sports are you involved in?
Do you have membership to any club, church, or organization?
Do you participate in any volunteer activities? Explain.

Oh how I'd love to send this back:
Dear jury selection committee;
I am so excited to serve on a jury. I'm a firm believer in jury nullification, and I'm sure that whatever BS law you've charged the defendant with breaking, it's unconstitutional and in need of nullification. See you in court!
Sincerely,
A.