*Yawn*

Getting up and going to work at O'dark Thirty sucks.
The bonus is that I'm done around 2pm and still have the afternoon to call my own...but the bad part is that I'm so tired, I don't want to do anything with it.
I hope my sleep patterns adjust soon. Yargh.

Gun Dreams

Usually, my firearm dreams incorporate me not being able to make my firearm function. In the last dream I had awhile back that I remember, the trigger guard was completely enclosed and solid.

One quite some time back had my carry piece ending up being made out of sponge or something.

I've read that having dreams like that is your subconscious telling you that you don't feel confident in your skill or comfortable with what you're carrying. I don't know if that's true or not, but I can tell you my own experience...
I HAVE been getting to the range more frequently, lately. I've been trying to make it at least once a weekend and I had a gun dream last night.

I was sitting on a patio or deck and reading a news article about some guy in ICU waiting for skin grafts from being super-glued to something as a prank. These two really tall punk teenage boys came out of some building or house and they were laughing and high fiving each other and I realized they were laughing about the guy in the hospital because they were the ones who put him there.

Then one pulled out this giant tube that looked like a toothpaste tube, but it was super glue. They started putting it on EVERYthing around and I felt some hit my arm...then over a fence, I saw a group of kids from my daughter's band walking up a path and those two punk kids started scheming to grab my daughter and super glue her to a wrought iron chaise lounge (like a beach chair).
I threw the newspaper down and yelled, "Like hell you will!!" and that's the first time they noticed me.

One sort of hung back a ways, but was yelling at me calling me names and the other one with the glue was coming at me and saying he was going to glue my eyes open and my mouth and nose shut so I'd "watch myself suffocate"...but not before watching them hurt my girl.

I kneed him in the crotch and before he had dropped all the way to his knees in front of me, I had my pistol drawn, safety off, and put a bullet in his forehead.

Never ever - EVER - had a dream like that before. I woke up feeling like I just ran ten miles full speed and was on the verge of a heart attack or something...covered in sweat and pissed off. I must have been gritting my teeth the whole time because they (and my jaw) hurt too.

I wish my phone had missiles.

The other night (or rather the other EARLY morning) just before 3:30AM, our phone rang.
You know that ring...the one that makes you jump out of a dead sleep with your adrenaline pumping wondering who died.
We're in the habit of letting the machine pick up for at least the first few words (we don't have caller I.D. on the land line).
It was some girl who sounded half baked and had one of those Valley Girl type accents. She said "like" a lot and pronounced "know" as "new", etc.
Our machine doesn't cut off after a given time, so I ended up getting up to pick up the phone to tell her she had the wrong number, or else she might still be rambling.

Here's the call as transcribed from my machine that caught it all:

Her: Ummm. Hello. This is for my "Dave's Friend" and my name is Tanya. I don't know you from like Adam, but I've heard your name while I was at Dave's house and like...I know you a little bit. I met you a few times and I need to get a hold of Dave...and I was like wondering if you could like help me...but I see you're not home right now, but like...

This is where I picked up the phone and said, "We ARE home right now because it's three thirty in the morning and we're sleeping and we don't know any "Dave". You've got the wrong number.

As if it would change whether or not I knew "Dave", whether or not it was "three thirty A.M.", or whether or not the phone ringing in the dead of the night gave me a coronary, she actually said, "Oh. Well...I really need to get a hold of Dave if you can like help me..."

I said, "Listen. You have. The wrong. Number."
She says "Oh, I'm sorry...I just need to get a message to him, that's all."
I said, "We don't know ANY "Dave". It's 3:30. You have the wrong number. Don't hit "redial". Bye." And I hung up.

Now you might think this was just a random wrong number, but unfortunately "Tanya" has our number written down somewhere and over the last few years she dials it when she gets half baked. Sometimes she calls and leaves messages about being bored. Sometimes she offers to share pot and hang out. Sometimes she leaves naughty messages for Jason. I wonder if Jason knows she's looking for Dave at three thirty in the morning...

Dream Cameo

Recently, there was a death in my family that I haven’t mentioned because I didn’t know what to say. I called another family member last night to see how they were dealing with things because it’s been over a week since the funeral mass. We talked for about an hour and I know things are really stressful for her.
I’m not sure why, but I’ve been having dreams nearly every other night about the family member who died. I say that I'm not sure why, because I wasn't as bonded to her as a lot of the other family members were. The dreams are always happy, but I come away from them feeling like I’m supposed to know something that I don’t and it leaves me empty. Almost like I’m supposed to understand something very important that is escaping me. I had another dream last night that I was in a crowd of people and she was trying to say something to me from across all those people. She was mouthing words that I couldn’t understand and she had a very expectant look on her face like; “Did you get it? Did you understand me that time?”
I don’t know why this is continuing to happen and I don’t know how long it will go on, but I did find out something when I was talking to a family member on the phone.
Apparently, I’m not the only one this is happening to. There are four of us that are having the same types of dreams about her. Always joy filled, but leaving you thinking you don’t have everything you need to know when you wake up.
How weird is that?

Just Tired!

Not only did it take FOREVER for me to fall asleep, I didn’t get into that “deep restful” type of sleep and I think I heard every creak of the house and every outside noise that there was.
Then at 3:00am I was awakened by something that I couldn’t figure out. Once awake, my mind would not shut up. I couldn’t get comfortable and I couldn’t stop thinking about crap that I knew I couldn’t do anything about right that minute, but I still fretted over it.
Don’t forget to charge my cell phone for going out of town to the seminar Tuesday.
Don’t forget to pack a lunch so I can eat in the park across the street.
Make a copy of the tickets.
Don’t forget to leave a checklist for whoever takes my place at work.
Did I put the twisty tie back on the bread or is it out in bread drawer drying out?
Did MiniMe pre-pack her lunch for band today?
Don’t forget to call the Dr about updating her immunization card for registration.
Did I uninstall that stupid irc thing? I think I did. I meant to.
What’s that smell? Do I smell burnt popcorn? What time is it?
If I go to sleep *right now*, I can get almost three hours of sleep.
Why can I not get comfortable? This pillow sucks. I need a new pillow. I wonder when we’ll get back to Bed Bath & Beyond. I don’t want to buy one from WalMart.
Finally…*this* position is comfortable. I can almost feel myself drifting off to sleep. My foot itches…Maybe if I don’t move it will stop. Dammit. Now I’m uncomfortable again.
What time is it? If I go to sleep *right now* I can get almost two hours of sleep.
It’s hot in here. JL is sleeping so soundly, I’m jealous. Maybe if I snuggle up to him, I’ll be able to sleep. Geez, he’s a fricken human heater. It’s hot in here. He’s snoring. My pillow sucks. What’s that noise? Ah, stupid tinnitus. Ring. Ring. Ring. What time is it? If I go to sleep right now I’ll get about an hour and a half of sleep. I wonder how my net friend’s mom is doing since his grandma just passed away. Nobody even told me when *my* grandma died. Why did they do that to me? Why did my grandma never seem to like me when I reached about high school age? I remember when mom and dad split up, grandma wouldn’t come 21 miles to see me graduate, but she flew 1280 miles to go see my cousin’s graduation. Why? I loved her much…why didn’t she love me back?
*Epiphany*… when mom and dad were having trouble, they argued a LOT over me. That’s it! Twenty-something freaking years later and it finally dawns on me that my grandma went to her grave blaming me for her son’s unhappiness. Wow. Now my sucky pillow is wet. Hey, it’s daylight. What time is it? Doesn’t matter, I don’t deserve to sleep.